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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Miracle happen please.

Caramel Toffee Muffin from Greggs.

There's too many things to blog about.

Trip to Durham
Trip to London
Trip to Glasgow


much, much more.

Yet I'm feeling so not in the mood now.
 Campaigns, Design and Essay assignments are piling up.

There's so much planning to do as well.

All I wanna do now is sleep and wait for miracle to happen.

Friday, March 21, 2014

22 things you probably didnt know about me

1 ) I'm a wary & reserve person . I dont usually let people step into my life, and I dont have bunch of friends. I like the idea of having really less best/close friends than lots of hi-bye friends. Most of you thought that I'm a friendly person, that's because I was taught to be polite, which I believe others are polite too so why not we communicate and chat for the sake of not touching our phones? What I'm trying to say is, If i let you into my life, you must be something to me.

2 ) I love sad music, with no or very minimal lyrics (please)
I cannot stand club music, my ears cant take it for my daily life basic music. I need sad music to let me feel and be sensitive about life ( you probably thinking dafuq is wrong with me )

it's actually not sad music, It's more of alternative rock, or melancholy to be exact. I can give you a lists of melancholy music if you want.
here's one example which is my all time favourite

3) & thats the reason why I'm pretty much a sadist

Friends around been telling me it's the music that makes me sad. Thank You, I know.
It's not that i cant help it, i choose to feel it. Or should I say I'm addicted to feel this way when I'm all alone?

Some nights I enjoy watching sad love movie and cries myself to sleep because I just wanted to feel that way

4 ) I have anxiety, I know most you have it too.
I'm scare, uneasy and worry most of the time. I worry about everything in my head, my brain, my mind. When it comes to my melting point, I encounter panic attack where I cannot breath properly and I cannot stop myself from thinking all those negative thoughts.

5 ) i hate celebration
because usually I DON'T have fun after celebrating the festival. Not birthday, more of Chinese New Year, Christmas etc etc.

6 ) I'm modest, and I don't take compliment well.
When people compliment me I'll usually think that they're trying to be nice. Partly that's because I think I'm surrounded with talented people that I don't even think I'm good enough.

7 ) I'm fucking vain.
my self timer photo explain a lot? just in different way. I enjoy looking at my photo yo. Bitch please

8 ) I'm a cry-baby bitch
I can cry easily, small argument can easily flush my tears out.
When I'm mad, I'll cry.

9 ) I hate idiots who talk 'BIG' but cant do shit, and because they're so shitty in their position and they're vomiting  mean words so they can push you down. The reason why I'm stating this is because the amount of idiots I met in my life is too damn high that I cannot Not give a damn.

10) I'm forgetful person. I cant even remember what I ate this morning.

11) Yes, I'm alone. I'm always alone.

To those motherfucker who thinks that I'm a loner or doesn't have friends and thinks that I'm pathetic not surrounded by friends, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?

I got lots of personal time, where I enjoy having quiet moment. So far I really enjoy traveling alone. I guess I'm mastering the art of being alone unconsciously . 

12 ) I was so in love last year, in short 3 months. Then I realize that It's so mess up, unhappy and complicated that I have to let him out of my life, and there goes farewell. Damn, this is a confession. But I'm really sad and trying to get over it that sometimes, I fear feeling alone. 

13) I make lots of mistake when i was young. Like saying something I shouldn't mention, or being sort of drama queen and shits.
Total regret but you know what, life goes on. Just move on.

14) I'm not the apple in everyone eye since young, till now. I never been like in people first sight. Face problem i think.

15) I not stingy when it comes to get present
BUT, I need to make sure that the gift I got for my friend is what they will treasure.

16) my teeth is yellowish.
And I cant help it! I tried every solution to whiten my teeth and brushes my teeth more than you guys did out there but it still didn't work :D , so I'll make do and that doesn't stop me from smiling.

17 ) I read 9gag. Almost, every, night, to sleep.
I can speak 9gag language.

18) I'm a spoil child and I'm lucky NOW, BACK THEN, HELL NO.

I wasnt a spoil child when I was young.
I'm like a maid when I was a kid, my aunt ask me to do this do that like a fucking maid. I dont get toys, and my toys are from my brothers. The worst is, all my life I thought that I'm the very first owner of my teddy bear , Snow bear ( It's name) but the truth is that Snow Bear belongs to my mum where my dad gave it to her when they're dating. Ok la, the bear thingy doesnt sounds that bad or drama but trust me, I had a horrible childhood and I was hardly happy.

But hoo laa,
Things change now.
I'm a spoil child now, admitting this for the sake of someone keep commenting I am. So what if I am? Does that makes you any less spoiled? So now you feel better swiping your parents credit card without feeling any guilt? Of course I'm a spoil child now, my parents shower me with loads of love. 
And yeap, I'm very lucky, because work hard to prove that I deserve it.

19) I let people be.


W : ' omgg he hates green but eat peas!"

Me : ' DUDE, just Let them be ~!! '

20 ) I always think that I'm not good enough, and chasing to be perfectionist. But recently I'm tired and I don't know what I want. I don't know why am I torturing myself to be good.

21 ) I'm stubborn.
Personality wise, I'm stubborn. You think I'm not, but oh fuck I am.

22 ) I have the tendency of wanted to do and learn everything. 
But I don't know what I'm good at.